Friday, April 24, 2020

Quarantine Capers


*** A Friends Tale ***

(For previous stories, see here, here, and here).

While maintaining a distance of 6 feet is presently necessary for maintaining the health of our communities, getting out of the house for brief periods is also needed for the mental health of individuals.

Allen the Bear helped Prince Eric and his steed, Zecora, Bulldozer, Pikachu, Giraffe, and Nick Fury
make personalized face masks. After some confusion over where Bulldozer's mouth is, Allen settled on fitting the mask over his bucket. Allen had doubts about this, but Bulldozer insisted that this was the way to go. Shrugging, Allen let it go.


Masked-up and ready, the group thanked Allen and headed out. They made it halfway down the front porch stairs, when Bulldozer cried, "Wait!"


Concerned, the Friends looked over to see a frustrated Bulldozer trying to push the porch railing down. However, he was unable to do so because the mask made his bucket inoperable. In tears, Bulldozer confessed he'd lied about where his mouth is. He thought the idea of a mask sounded suffocating, so he wanted the mask on his bucket so he'd be free to breathe freely. Now, experience taught him that not being able to bulldoze properly was a much greater agony.

Shaking their heads, the Friends good naturedly took Bulldozer back in the Allen who fitted him with a proper mask.


Even then, Bulldozer resisted a full mask, insisting his exhaust pipes could stay exposed. After a lengthy, heated debate, he agreed to cover only the front one. Not wanting to waste any more time, the Friends accepted this compromise.

Finally on the outside, the Friends immediately found a nice patch of grass and spring wild flowers to stretch out in. Imagine a group of puppies blissfully rolling around on the lawn, and you'll be pretty close to the scene that took place.



Nick, arguably the most enthusiastic roller, was the first to regain his composure. Ignoring the flowers entangled in his guns, Nick announced, "I'm going to climb that tree. Get the lay of the land."

Not wanting to be left behind, the others jumped up to follow.



Being small and sure footed, Nick and Zecora quickly made their way to the top-most branches. Having shorter arms and legs (or no legs at all), the other friends got entangled in the lower limbs. Nick conceded to their difficulties. From their vantage point, Nick and Zecora found a building that all could climb in order see the view.




Safely situated on the window frames, the crew pointed out possible places to visit. Bulldozer was intrigued by a large pile of dirt. Giraffe thought the grocery store looked a treat. Pikachu, fixated on trying to peer through the dark windows, frequently interrupted the conversation with exclamations like, "I see someone! Wait...that's a mop..."

After much debate, the group settled on exploring a small creek that Prince Eric noticed in the distance. Scrambling down from window - Pikachu joining last because he thought he saw a burning trash can that turned out to be a glare from the sun - the Friends officially began their trek.

It was not a smooth journey. First, Giraffe began to complain about being hungry, stopping at every food-related sign and pouting.

So hungry!

Nick became oddly authoritarian about enforcing parking signs. It began when the group sighted a strongly worded sign at the entrance of a nearly empty lot. Mocking the serious language, Nick jumped on top of the sign and declared, "THOU SHALL NOT PARK."

Getting the laugh he wanted, Nick jumped down and the Friends continued.



 Unfortunately, Nick continued making the joke at every No Parking sign they passed. The Friends stopped finding it funny and became annoyed with the delays. Making matters worse, each time he jumped on a sign, he became more serious about enforcing what it said. It took longer and longer to get him to come down and stop threatening parking violators. It was as if he forgot about the original joke and was beginning to think of himself as the Ultimate Parking Enforcer.



Even stranger than Nick acting like, well, Nick, Prince Eric became passionately opinionated on people's mode of transport. Most notable was when he saw a pile of bikes that had fallen over at a bike rack.

"This is no way to treat respectable steeds!" he exclaimed. "Even mechanical ones!"

Eric tried to end their disgrace and set them upright again, but they were too heavy and tangled to manage. After a brief moment of silent apology, he moved on.



Not getting caught up in the manic antics of Nick Fury and Prince Eric, Bulldozer and Pikachu maintained a mellow composure.

Bulldozer spent some time inspecting the safety of an orange cone situation.


He really got in there.


Fortunately, it passed Bulldozer's expert level of scrutiny.

Pikacha, meanwhile, found some flowers with the same coloring as Giraffe and himself. They even coordinated with the face masks!

It is suspected that Pikachu insisted upon this photo in order to distract Giraffe from her hunger pangs.
He, however, remains silent upon this subject.

Zecora, always classy, began climbing nearby to pass the time during each holdup in the group's progress. She view each climb as a personal challenge.


As the delays increased, so did the difficulty.



From this last height, Zecora noticed a tree that had fallen, but remained clinging to life. Eagerly, the Friends rushed to help save it.



After a fair amount of arguing and teamwork - even from Giraffe, who resisted the temptation to grab a quick nibble - the tree was righted and its roots secured. Satisfied, they brushed the dirt off their hands and picked pine needles from their hair.

Unfortunately, their satisfaction didn't last long because they couldn't remember how to get back to their path.

Fortunately, their distress lasted only as long as it took Zecora to calmly remind them how well climbing had helped them navigate previously. Scanning the area for a useful object, they found a stone tower. It resemble some sort of mystical and ancient mushroom. Without pausing to wonder if they should, the Friends scrambled up the sides.


Always competitive, Nick made it to top of the mushroom tower first. "I SEE THE CREEK!" he bellowed. "IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE!!!"

Jubilant, the Friends tumbled down the tower and scurried to where Nick pointed. Finding a quaint bridge, the adventurers peered over its railing to enjoy the sight of the tranquil water below.



All fell silent, absorbed the soft murmurs of the creek and its surroundings.

Pikachu was the first to notice that Giraffe was missing. Their tranquility disrupted, the Friends began a frantic search for their tallest member.

It was Bulldozer who heard the whimpers. Listening close, he followed them and found Giraffe! She was standing in some violets, sobbing.


 "Are you hurt?" Bulldozer asked as the others joined. Giraffe shook her head no, but it was several moments before she could speak through the sobs.

"I'm just hungry!" Giraffe cried when her tears were somewhat under control. "Violets are my favorite food but I can't eat them with this mask on!" With this, her tears picked up again.

Both relieved and annoyed, the Friend's decided the time had come to return home. Pikachu coxed Giraffe out of the violets. Zecora diplomatically acknowledged she would like to eat some violets, too. Nick rolled his eyes a little but kindly said nothing. Eric gave Bulldozer some money and sent him to a nearby merchant for refreshments.

In effort, to distract Giraffe from her embarrassment and grief, Pikachu organized one last group photo. Bulldozer arrived just in time with a drink for all to share.


This distraction proved to be very effective. Moments after the photo was snapped, Pikachu noticed an unwelcome addition in the center.

"WHY DON'T PEOPLE PICK UP AFTER THEIR PETS?!?!?!" she raged. "It's nasty!!! They even put up a sign for these stupid people!!!!!"


Giggling, Giraffe ushered a still-ranting Pikachu along, and the Friends headed home.


Other than a minor obstruction quickly cleared by Bulldozer,


and one last monologue on the state transportation by Prince Eric,

"Why would anyone settle for a picture of a horse on their car
whey they could ride one instead?!?!"

the voyage home was safe and uneventful.

All of them now famished, they busted out the snacks before remembering about the face masks.

Pikachu's lightening power for the win!
Everyone agreed, it was an adventure well executed.


The End



Monday, April 6, 2020

Wise and Unsatisfying


At the start of my last post, I declared my intention to post more regularly. Seeing as it's been about 4 months since then, I have a ways to go before achieving that goal. I need to set myself some deadlines. I do better with deadlines.

I actually started this post almost two months ago. Had it all outlined. I only needed to fill in the pertinent details and add a bit of personality. This was, of course, before Covid-19 hit the big time. Now, much of that original outline is no longer relevant.

Like millions of others, I am at home, furloughed for the time being. Back in mid-March, during that weird week when the reality of quarantining and shelter-in-place orders became really real, I was incredibly angry and a little panicked. I had only just gotten financially stable enough that I could start rebuilding my savings again. And now I was being sent back to ground zero. I was a real crab as all this sank in.

Strangely enough, what most helped calm my initial fears was recognizing that my anger was not new anger. I have been angry constantly since December 2018, when I first started feeling the effects of post-seizure vertigo. Honestly, I've arguably been angry my entire life, but this recent bout of fury has a more tangible cause. Life as I knew it was completely upended, giving me a pile of concerns I'd never had before. Areas I'd believed secure were no longer safe. I lost autonomy. As confidently as I could express my gratefulness, I was also grieving the unfairness of it all.

The height of my anger was in early August, when the indignity of the second seizure was still fresh and I was deep into job search limbo. Fortunately, I soon got hired as a sales associate at Dillards. I also got a helpful counselor. (Thanks, BetterHelp.com!) The most intense rage has subsided, but the underlying anger persists. While my health is much improved, I am still prone to fatigue and dizziness when I overdo things. I am also wrestling with frustrating good news of passing every medical test they've tried on me. Having unanswered health questions hanging over my head is infuriating. It has forced me to make decisions that are wise in terms of my physical well-being, but offer little satisfaction otherwise. Things aren't bad, but I feel like I'm on pause. I'm tired of feeling on pause.

When Covid-19 arrived, I about had a temper tantrum. How unfair can we get?! Am I not allowed to make any progress????

via GIPHY
My Temper

Thankfully, after some kind friends graciously tolerated my venting, I recognized that while a pandemic is absolutely a complete game-changer, for me personally, having an unexpected wrench thrown into the works is not a novel situation. I've been living with wrenches for a while now. It's familiar territory.

To be clear, I am not implying that any of this is easy. It's definitely not. I do, however, have experience with being in uncomfortable situations I cannot fix. As much as it sucks, I have learned to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Most days.

I've learned that the best thing I can do is to give myself permission to be sad and angry. For at least 36 of my 41 years on this planet, I did not do this. Even now, I resist. I have to intentionally tell myself that it is okay to be upset. It is okay to take the time to deal. For me, this step usually involves solitude. I regret the friends and family I neglect as retreat from the world. It is one of the main reasons I try to avoid this step. However, the truth is, I'm not a very good friend when I don't deal with my own rough emotions. I simply don't have the space.

At the time of writing this, I am feeling pretty good. Not happy, by any stretch, but good all the same. I'm taking the opportunity to run more. Previously, I was constantly worried about my "energy budget," afraid overdoing it would leave me dizzy and irritable during the days that followed. Now, if I find myself fuzzy-headed, I can stay in bed and no one else will have to deal with my crankiness.

Additionally, I've enjoyed talking to my oldest nephew and niece more. They keep me posted on the salamanders in the creek, the blossoms on the blackberry bushes, and the other adventures they have going on. They are very thorough in their updates.

No photo description available.
Based on my nephew's description, the Spotted Salamander seems to be what they're keeping tabs on.
http://herpsofarkansas.com/Salamander/AmbystomaMaculatum

Even with the positives, I do wish I could help more. I hate that this happened while I'm on sabbatical from teaching. Some days, I feel incredibly left out, and resent being on the sidelines. I do still tutor online, but that's anonymous. It's not the same as working with students I knew and had a relationship with.

In conclusion, I am well, I am sad, and I am angry. I am choosing to keep optimistic, even when I don't want to be. I want to reach out more and I am sorry when I hesitate. I am uncomfortable and could be doing a million things better, but for now, it's okay to be where I am. I think...

Love to you all 💗