Mediating Meltdowns

You know all those stories that have been going around lately of white women having racial-charged meltdowns? I witnessed one yesterday.

It wasn't as dramatic as the videos that get posted online, but it was a meltdown nonetheless.

It was at the post office. I was waiting my turn at the self-service computer, lost in thought (as usual), when a woman in her 50's came in the front door and testily called out to a man who'd entered shortly before her. Based on his appearance and accent, I presume he's originally from an African country.

"Sir! Sir! It was incredibly rude of you to cut the line in the parking lot. Other people were waiting, but you showed no regard for that and just took a spot."

The man was baffled by her accusation and asked what she was talking about. Long story short, she'd been idling off to the side, and it wasn't apparent to the man that she was waiting for a spot. He did not intentionally take her spot.

The lady, however, was not satisfied with his response. As they went back and forth, she kept getting angrier and angrier. He too became angry and defensive. She was only dropping off a package, and while she was yelling, she slammed her package into the slot and looked as if to leave. But she couldn't let it go and continued yelling at him.

While this was happening, most of the bystanders - myself included - were looking away and hoping it would end soon. This was until she yelled, "In this country, we know how to be courteous!" 

Although no one spoke, it was like the whole room said, "Oh no you didn't!" I know I turned towards her and said, "Really?!" I'm not sure if I said it out loud, though.

The man was obviously shook and continued to defend himself. A young woman who came in later spoke up, saying she'd seen what happened in the parking lot and that it really wasn't clear she was waiting. The lady picked up on the shift in the room an finally left. Upon her leaving, several people spoke to the man, assuring him that it wasn't his fault.

Since then, I've been thinking a lot about how to better help in these situations. 

This is far from the first time I've seen someone get utterly lost in their emotions and closed off to rational thought. However, that has primarily been with my middle school students. In those cases, my relationship with the kids and authority as a teacher made intervening relatively easy. It didn't always work, but there were ways and means to get upset students out of the situation and give them space to come back into themselves.

In this instance, I wasn't sure what to do. A couple of times, I thought of telling her that mistakes happen and she just needs to go. However, I hesitated. Partly because I kept thinking she was about to leave on her own. The bigger reason is I thought my words would make the situation worse. She was lost to rationality and I feared adding fuel to her rage.

I told this story to one friend who said next time I need to step up and "put that racist bitch in her place." I agree with him that I need to step up. I want to step up. But I'm not sure about putting that lady in her place. I mean, that's what she was wanting to do. Why would I want to follow her lead? Arguing with someone in the midst of an emotional rant rarely goes well, and does little to change minds.

What are your thoughts? How do we step up when people are being ugly without becoming ugly ourselves? 

I'm thinking, for me at least, the answer lies in being mindful and present in the moment. Rather than disengaging when things get uncomfortable, become attentive. Listen. If I've learned anything over the past year, it's that answers come when you need them.

via GIPHY

Not Just Another Top-Notch Lady

It just so happens...

Last week I received an official diagnosis: I am allergic to red meat. Specifically, I am allergic to  alpha gal, a sugar found in non-primate red meat. Its full name is galactose-alpha-1,3-galactose, for those of you who're interested in that sort of thing. The allergy is a consequence of being bitten by ticks.

I credit my relatively quick diagnosis to the show Radiolab, a podcast I listened to regularly. Last August, while I was in Idaho's Sawtooth Wilderness, I listened to the "Alpha Gal" episode, which told the story of Amy Pearl, a woman who became allergic to meat. The episode was incredibly entertaining and informative. I'd never heard of alpha gal before, so I made a mental note to be aware should I get bitten by ticks in the future. I wasn't too worried, though. At the time, I'd only picked up maybe three ticks in my life, and expected that trend to continue.

I was wrong on that count.

On the last day of September, I went on a 9+ hour hike in NW Tennessee, on some trails in the Land Between the Lakes. When I was about 30 minutes in, I realized I'd forgotten my bug repellent. I opted not to go back to get it because the mosquitoes weren't bad. I figured I'd be okay.

I was wrong a second time.

During that day long hike, I picked up a LOT of chiggers and a LOT of tiny seed ticks. Over the next several days, I was finding those poppy seed sized critters everywhere! There had to have been at least 80, and likely well over a hundred. I was with my parents in Nashville at the time, and I remember joking about getting Lyme disease or a red meat allergy. I wasn't really concerned. The painful, itchy blisters from the chigger bites were much more worrisome.

One afternoon, a few weeks later, I had an upset stomach that I usually associate with dates (the food, not the social engagement. Those only give me a few butterflies, not the burning nausea the fruit does). I was puzzled at the cause, but it didn't last too long. Then that night, about 3 hours after dinner, I had an upset stomach again. Thinking through what I'd eaten, I realized the first incident was about 3 hours after I'd eaten bacon, and the second was after some bratwurst. I don't eat read meat very often, and it had been over a week since I'd had any...

Convinced I was being an overreacting hypochondriac - there were other possible explanations for the nausea - I decided to prove red meat wasn't a problem. So, I very intentionally stayed away from it for the next week, then treated myself to some rather nice breakfast sausage while in Nebraska. I didn't have any burning nausea, so I figured I was in the clear.

Yet again, I was wrong.

The next time I ate red meat was on November 17th. The day of the seizure. There was a nice, spicy Italian sausage in my omelette.

This is when the red meat question became more pressing and more confusing. Seizures aren't a typical allergic reaction. Also, my symptoms seemed inconsistent. The meat I ate in Nebraska didn't bother me, but the pork my sister smoked right before Thanksgiving definitely caused that all-too-familiar burning sensation.

(In retrospect, the Nebraska test was not a reliable one. Right after I finished breakfast, I learned about the death of my friend, Scott. The news left me feeling queasy and numb. There's no telling what was actually going on with my body that day).

If not for the seizure, I would have experimented more. But as things were, I wanted a doctor to draw blood.

Even outside current circumstances, I would recommend this episode.

It took a while to get tested (bureaucracy, bureaucracy, blah, blah, blah), but once I saw my allergist, they were quick to agree.

The results were quick and definitive. Yay! I wasn't over reacting. Woohoo! I am now a certified, injector-carrying member of the EpiPen club. High 5!

Alpha gal is a difficult allergy to diagnose, mainly because the symptoms are delayed for 2-6 hours after eating. I am very fortunate to figure this out before I got any sicker.

So for the time being, I will be turning down all offers of beef, pork, venison, and elephant steak. I am, however, free to eat poultry, fish, and the children of Irish paupers. This hasn't been too challenging a change. I believe I will mostly mourn the loss of green beans and other pot-luck side dishes cooked with ham or bacon.

Before I go, I want to emphasize that this allergy was NOT a direct cause of my seizure. The prevailing hypothesis is that my body was pretty depleted at the time. Introducing the allergen was likely just one stress too many.

Moral: Wear bug repent! Lemon eucalyptus has never failed me. Unless I leave it inside the bottle...

Distracting Rambles

As I'm feeling better, but still on activity restrictions, I am beginning to miss the freedom of travel. I am spending more time remembering all the places I went last summer and fall, and daydreaming where I can go once I get the green light. While reminiscing, I recalled one of last cities I visited before things got crazy.

It was Pella, Iowa and it was spectacular.

Towards the end of October, I had just under two weeks until my next Must Attend obligation. Sorting through my options, I settled on Iowa and Nebraska, with the possibility of a couple days in Wyoming. I'd not previously spent much time in either state and mid-autumn seemed like a good time to go, seeing as it was during that brief window of time between blistering heat and frigid cold.

On may way north, I stopped at Thousand Hills State Park near Kirksville, MO, another place I'd never been. It was pretty, but pretty uneventful. I just ambled about and took a few photos.

All 6 Friends posing on a dry creek cascade

One match, thankyouverymuch (c:

A couple relaxing days later, I continued on towards Iowa.

I first heard of Pella while working out possible routes. According to the Iowa by Trail website, only two trails in state have a rating of "difficult". One of them is outside Pella. So, knowing little else, Pella became Iowa destination #1.

I rolled into town around lunchtime on the day before Halloween. To say I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement. Pella has a deeply rooted Dutch heritage and that is strongly reflected in the design of its downtown. Everything was so cute and so fantastically cheesy that I could barely contain my giggles as I strolled. I felt like I'd stumbled into a Hallmark Christmas movie or something.

Giddy with enjoyment, I stopped for lunch and texted several friends about this unexpected turn of events. Many replied, but the most enthusiastic responder was Bill, my brother. He is also the biggest Hallmark movie fan I know. Rather than tell you what he said, I'll let our conversation speak for itself:

Tempting though it was, I did not take any of his suggestions. I also ignored suggestions from other friends which included spilling my coffee on unsuspecting men or getting my coat zipper hopelessly stuck and requesting help. Instead, I acted like a civilized, non-desperate person and made my way towards the town square. There I made the most important discovery yet. Right in the center, prominently displayed, was a towering sign that read "Tulip Time".

(Side note: I left the joke at the bottom because if I'd remembered it,
I would of included as one of my favorite original puns of 2018)

I later learned that Tulip Time is a huge Dutch Heritage festival Pella hosts every year. It began in the 1930's after the high school performed the original operetta "Tulip Time in Pella". The townsfolk enjoyed the performance so much they decided to make the fun last and created the festival.

I learned this fun fact while touring the Historical Village. It was delightfully quirky in its devotion to the Dutch. I recommend going if you're ever in the area.

Pella Town Square

Dutch Window Washer

This poor woman lost her head over Dutch hats!

As for the "difficult" trail that brought me to Pella, that came the next day. Called the Volksweg Trail (volksweg is Dutch for "people's path"), I honestly don't know why it has a "difficult" rating. The trail is wide and paved. There are hills, but nothing too steep. On my bike, I'd barely need to change gears. Honestly, the most difficult part was that portions were closed due to construction and flooding. It wasn't possible to go straight through, so I had to run it in sections, then drive to the next part. I'd intended to run the length of it, out-and-back, but that wasn't possible.

However, it was pretty and I was able to run most of it. All-in-all a satisfactory outing.

Is there?

Conclusion: Don't underestimate Iowa. (c: